• In Memoriam

  We often forget in our focus with the sound and fury of our existence that life, although we do take it ever so seriously, is a tale of idiots told by another, who just so happens to count himself a genius with the malice and purity of a dying race.

  And a fabulous eulogy it was for the man that likened himself, the most righteous and holy whisperer of taints, taint whisperer. In his many ventures through forests of untamed oily thatch, gardens of trimmed hedges, and smooth manifolds hidden beneath merkins, the self proclaimed taint whisperer was most fascinated by the flaccid exclusion of fellatio from one particular dancing partner’s repertoire, in the poetry of his own.

  She described her experience as an involuntary scream cuckolded by the gestating wyrm forced upon a smile so lacking in appetite—gagging imbued by the maggot expelling a seed of bile, waxy and congealed in essence. Had he experienced her terror himself, his chastity just may have been more suitable for his measure of cardinality. Alas, this was to be the end of the whisperer of taints. With a carpe diem, the holy taint whisperer found his undoing in the cavern of enamelum.

  –She winked stifling a gagged whisper, “I swallow.” Left him wallowing.

• Angela

  Angela came over one afternoon. Delicious pale skin. She was short and somewhat thin, yet blessed with perfect globular breasts. Her flanks were well enough endowed too. There had always been some amount of sexual tension between us. She was excited to see me. I was more or less enjoying the attention. The company of a woman kept my mind from wandering to dangerous subjects. First to fight and last to fuck—we didn’t keep the bed lonely long. Tongue in cheek, my tongue, her cheek, or hers mine. Her brassier came off following a shirt too small to contain her bust. Her tits…her fucking tits. My eyes salivated in their feasting. My jowls dropped and engulfed the pink fortresses atop her fleshy mounds.

  We slid her pants off together. Her bright red panties staring me in the eye. I was so fixated on her beautiful navel, I hadn’t noticed her success in disrobing me until suddenly my member was balls deep in her wet cunt mouth. She worked me for awhile…I was close…and she came up and offered three words to the heavens in giddy fashion with a smile on her face.

       “I don’t finish!”
       “What?”
       “I don’t finish! Do you know what that stuff tastes like?”

  She suffered a look of disgust before I rolled her over, my pulsing cock grinding her clit through silken lace. She moaned. I started to slip her sopping cunt cover off. As I was peeling if off her pale ass she stopped me dead.

       “I can’t have sex!”
       “Why not?”
       “Someone told me to wait till marriage or it won’t be so good.”

  Dumbfounded. It took me a minute to realize my cock had gone limp and that was the last I saw of her.

• Bernice

  Some time prior, on Angela’s birthday, she had come by with two friends. Angela wrestled me on my linens for a few moments while her friend’s looked on. One seemed uncomfortable and the other infatuated. The girls didn’t stay long. A few days had passed when I got a call from Bernice, the infatuated lass from a few nights prior. She wanted to come by. She was a thick farm girl, built like a tank. Just like a woman ought be. She wanted my cock and we were in bed quick, but she was fertile and required protection before giving up that sweet meat hidden behind those cow thighs.

  We drove to the supermarket where we acquainted ourselves with latex friends famous for the acceptance of the wood of a horse, or was it a wooden horse? I digress. We returned with our vanquished friends and I proceeded to wage war with her Grecian cunt. After those tight light blue jeans had been stripped away alongside her big soaking panties, my face was buried in her sop. I was mesmerized by her bouncing tits and flesh, while she was hypnotized by the rhythm beaten out against her cervix. Her belly was to die for, a significant pudge that reached out to greet me. Extremely orgasmic in its sensuous touch. Such a comfortable cushion, with a frame bred to bear me.

• Clarice

  I got off late from work one night. A couple of old friends dropped by and fetched my sorry ass. Clarice and Aaron. We went back to Aaron’s place, ate some pizza, and laughed through a cheap horror screen. Aaron went to bed and left Clarice and I on the couch. She had gorgeous tits. I pulled one out of her shirt and she giggled. Our clothes came off and I was soon sinking her pink with my flesh torpedo. She was small but chunky soft—ass for days. She cried that it was some of the best cock she had ever had. Her phone went off. It was Aaron. He said my pussy pounding was keeping him awake. We told him to come watch if he wanted. He was in the living room before the phone was hung up, the horny bastard, the thirsty fuck.

  I fucked Clarice on Aaron’s leather couch for what seemed like hours to the rhythm of a skin flick Aaron had switched on. Over Stimulation.

       “Dude, I’ve been trying to fuck that cunt for ages!
             How’d you do it?”
       “I don’t know. I just kinda did.”
       “Shit man!”

  I told him to join in, but Clarice wasn’t having it. Something about Aaron seeing her celibate cousin and fellatio being sacred or whatever. I guess her ass wasn’t on the menu. We moved to Aaron’s bed and I put his hand on her breast, which made her cranky. I brutalized her cunt with my hammer and she cried for my cum. So, I gave it to her. After that she went back to her lesbian lover. Clarice was a sub. Tych the dom. Tych was chill but she was a misandrist, so I didn’t come around after that.

• Demi

  Demi prided herself on taking my teddy, as she called it. She didn’t consider sexual abuse a legitimate loss. I remember when she took my cock in her cunt the first time. I was grossly disappointed. I had all these expectations and the act didn’t live up to any. It did get better over time. She was a nymph or something. Loved to please my cock. She wanted to make me happy, but I could tell she always wanted me to be something more than I was. She desired for me to be the good boyfriend that would hold her sensuously, but remain platonic, at least partially. But I was opposed to labels, afraid of commitment, and really, I just wanted to fuck. She started doing kegels to make her slit tighter for me, a slave to my cock.

  I was at Demi’s once and as usual we were in her bed. It was a huge bed, plenty and more for maneuvering. I requested we slip into sweat pants, to which she happily obliged me. She wanted to watch some documentary about John Lennon with our clothes on. I wanted her cunt. I slid her ass out to which she thoroughly complained.

       “I just want to cuddle!”

  My cock was primed, but I couldn’t seem to guide it to her cunt.

       “Can I get some guidance with this?”
       “Nope! This is all on you!”
       “Ugh…”

  I found my mark and her wet toothless gums happily gobbled my knob.

       “Oh, how are you so good?!” she exclaimed.

  On a similar venture we were watching a screen about a crazy bitch with a toothed cunt. However, this time she happily accepted my cock in her sheathe. She moaned softly.

       “Don’t cum in me though. I’m off my birth control.”
       “Can I have your ass?”
       “Um…yeah…but let me put it in.”
       “Alright.”

  Slowly but surely her petite hands guided my rod into the folds of her ass. It was tight, only slightly moist, and quite warm. The deeper she led my dick into her ass, the more aroused I found myself. When she was ready we began to rock forward and back. I plunged ever deeper into that sweet vein. Knees buckling I spilt my seed. She returned from the restroom embarrassed by the Charmin residue left behind with me. I wasn’t so concerned.

  I had fooled around with this other bitch, who took whatever we had had way too seriously, for a little bit. Not much happened. But one day she saw me with Demi and she became livid—she unleashed a verbal assault upon my person. It scared Demi, mortified her too, as her friends were with us at the time. That was pretty much the end of my time with Demi. She never really got over that experience. Never truly forgave me I guess.

• Esmeralda

  Esmeralda. Shy and crushing hard. From a broken home. High times in a high life during high-school. She offered to let me live with her when I was a wanderer. I should have taken the offer. Would have achieved more than I had. High noon on a bright summer day, almost through with this shit. She asked me for a ride, peaceful through the trees. On bikes. I obliged her. Found out she wanted me, but settled for some douche. We end up at her place alone. Turned to Incubus. I tempted the edge of her cloth. She kissed me. I fingered her cunt. She came, then gently pushed me out the door, smiling. Claimed her father to be home soon. Must have felt guilty going further with me in five minutes than weeks with her douche. She never talked to me ever again and they say men are the users.

  Then Emma, dashing back and forth kissing in the park after school, cheating on her boyfriend. The women weren’t faithful, why should I be? Wrote me a letter once. I was in the service. I replied, reminding her of our time in the park. Never heard from her again. Five years go by and I see her on a bus and she sees me. Sheepishly she sneaks to the back of the bus and sulks out of view.

• Fannie

  Fannie, but hers wasn’t shapely, just large. Offered to clean my reptile room abode in exchange for coitus. Of course I agreed, but the fucking wasn’t any good, much like her cleaning. I didn’t care to see anymore of her, but on a preliminary visit she brought her thirteen year old sister and we watched a British comedy porn. Shit, she was only seventeen and a terrible lay. As fate would have it, the younger sister dated my brother once she was of age; it didn’t last long, once he realized she was cuckolding him with twenty other men.

• Kaitlynn

  I was working an equipment room at the local community college. It was positioned alongside the old film labs—they were antiquated—being decommissioned from the front lines. Sad really, running out of silver—a digital age. The lack of skill was grossly apparent. No one understood the lighting anymore. A handful of old souls were still passionate about their dream. Still living in the history.

  A new hire walked in one day to help with the labs—short, stout, a cute face—sometimes you just know what the future holds. Always in time, never quite the projection, but it doesn’t detract from the scent in the air. The chemistry. The tension. Her name was Kait. Kaitlynn for precision. I preferred to spell it out even though she went by the former. The opportunity presented itself and I jumped at it, although I may have been a coaxing factor, I’m sure.

  One eve we went for a drive in her pot scented ride—nostalgia. We parked on a hill overlooking the town. We moved to the back seat. She asked me to retrieve her chap-stick from the front. I leaned forward and applied an excessive amount of the wax to my lips prior to returning it to its resting. I turned and watched her gaze before pressing my lips to hers. Soft…intimate. A beautiful soul.

       “What do you want to do?”

  She was shaking like a dog…anxious…

       “I want to put your cock in my mouth.”

  She said it with such a sultry voice too. My buckle gave way and my shorts chased after. She took me in her mouth, her tongue dancing across the head of the pink tower of power. Such a sweet girl, her puppy dog eyes gazed up at me from behind thick rimmed frames. I revealed my soldier’s shield and we maneuvered into the front seat…

• Mira

  Mira. I kissed this bitch.

• Nicky

  I had known Nicky prior to my service. When I returned she was the first to offer up her pussy as reward. She came over and we watched an Aronofsky film…dark and sensual. We were in bed by the midway point. Her slit was sweet. The best tasting cunt I have ever had the pleasure of sampling. I didn’t see her for quite awhile after our bout. Something about lost keys and an upset guardian.

  When I did see her next we rode her horse to the top of a mountain. She was bashful about letting my adventurous hands enter her taint’s domain through her skin tight pants. I thought better of her playful resistance and began undoing her pants. She giggled and insisted I stop. When I had wrestled her pants off her ass, she grabbed my hand and very seriously looked me in the eyes.

       “If you take these off you better fuck me!”

  To which I replied.

       “Of course my dear.”

  With her cunt hanging out and my shorts to my ankles she rode me to heaven like a horse inside her mustang. That was the last I saw of her. Well at least the last I saw of her taint and its divine neighborhood.

• Olga

  Olga, she looked like an Olga. You could tell she shaved a beard, left the mustache. Didn’t take much coaxing either. Band practice rooms, cellars, you name it. She wasn’t very good though. Her sloppy mouth, ugly doe eyes looking up at me. Desperate to guzzle that seminal fluid that I truly didn’t want to give up to her. Sitting on that piano bench, a bad song interrupted by naive girls pushing on the door blocked by one of a multitude of boxed strings and hammers. Thank the gods!

  Yet even with my disgust, I still followed her home another day. Underneath the house in a cellar I found myself with her, alone. Just me, her mustache, and I was kinda lost in a daze of confusion and possible guilt. She laid her coat down on the floor. Cold concrete. Jeans and panties tossed aside. Her dry but virgin cunt begged for my cock. She was easy, but I couldn’t blame her. Poor girl. I came prematurely while tightly pressed against her hymen.

  Instant remorse.

  She said she had a condom, but I couldn’t do it. So I walked out into the sun from that dark cellar and left her to marry a man who used her to hide his homosexual nature from his family. It took her several years to realize the sham, poor sap. She was miserable when she found out. I thought about saying something, but I didn’t know how to phrase it.

• Teresa

  Teresa wasn’t the best at orienting herself or following directions. She got kinda lost trying to find my place. When she finally arrived she was pretty wiped. Petite…Athletic. Beautiful eyes. She had this cute little skirt on. I baked a pizza, frozen. She cuddled up next to me and we watched a show. It was pleasant to be with her. Alongside Elfman’s sentiments, she made me feel so good. We went to bed. I asked if she had a change of clothes, but she didn’t. She laid in bed fully clothed. I lied and said I can only sleep naked. I asked if that bothered her. She claimed it did not. I told her she could disrobe if she pleased—that I could get her pajamas if she wanted. I helped her out of her skirt. It was actually more of a dress. As her brassier fell off, I had the pleasure of gazing upon her exotic form. Her darkened nipples contrasting her olive skin. Such young and healthy skin. Not a single blemish to be found, with Grecian form. I asked to touch, she consented and I gently fingered her breasts.

  She professed she had ever only stayed the night with girls. She straddled me—we kissed, my hard cock pressing tight to her vulva through the linens and her blue panties. I asked if she wished to see it. She desperately wanted to, but cautiously asked about child prevention. I introduced my Trojan friends. Then she was wary about letting me gaze upon her cunt. She was afraid she was deformed. Oh, but what a gem—as she pulled at her cunt cloth I saw a dark olive lotus between her thighs. Her inner labia hung low past her clam lips. Her pussy, light chocolate flower with a strawberry center—what precious pink flesh hidden away. I insisted she had a gift to cherish, she started to come around. I offered up my cock and she began to suck for the very first time. Her wetness reminded me of the first time we kissed years back in a motel pool. My first real kiss. She said she still retained her virginity. I was going to give her a gift. I took her lips in my mouth while my cock was in hers—she quickly spun around.

       “What are you doing?” she giggled.

  Such innocence. We laid a towel down and I showed her how to put the helmet on the spelunker. I eased into her tightness. She moaned. It was slow, passionate, but no blood surfaced. I was perplexed, but understandable to the possibility. I fucked her several times that night. She had such a small bubbly little ass. I found her to be adorably cute. I made her breakfast in the morning. Then she departed for work. I haven’t really seen her since.

• Viola

  Viola, a friend of Mira’s. Left Mira on a bench while she blew me in the bushes. After flashing me her blue veiny tits, I lead her into the reeds. The water was low this time of year so the ground was dry. She kissed me, but I wasn’t really into her, so I pushed her head down a bit. Asked her if she wanted to see my prick. Her eyes got wide as whales and upon swallowing her salivation, quickly said yes. My shorts gave way and her head started bobbing. She stopped to kiss me. I smiled grimly and pushed her head back down. I came down her throat and she swallowed every last drop. At least some bitches know their lot in life.

       I took my grandmother to Montana and Viola sent me nudes. Getting ready to ship for OSUT I figured I could do better, so I called whatever we had off. Saw her a couple weeks later at a bookstore with her new squeeze. Texted her a few times after I got out, but she didn’t want to see me and I didn’t want to see her for her, so I never saw her again.